Last Updated on September 16, 2022 by Natalie

“I want to punch myself,” I texted my husband at 10:19am while he was at work.

I can be a bit hard on myself when I get frustrated.

Let me paint the picture of the WFHM (Work From Home Mom) struggle that at times gets the best of me.

Before I do…

How Often I Feel This Struggle

Let me clarify that this isn’t everyday or even most days.

Mostly because my other tasks that aren’t caring for the baby are not usually high on the priority list.

Work deadlines usually have ample padding and house stuff will get done when it gets done.

Some Background

Everyday, my baby naps next to me on my bed while I work on my laptop next to him.

I typically nurse him to sleep and then pull up my laptop.

I have entertained the idea of getting the baby to take naps in his crib.

The idea sort of saddens me because I love being close to him as he naps and feeling his little legs resting on mine.

Or his fat little baby arm holding onto me ?

These are the little things I want to stay home with him to enjoy in the first place.

Then at the same time, I’m trying to also be productive in doing work so that I can sustain this SAHM business!

And also try to do some laundry once in a while so we have clothes to wear.

I can’t even close my hamper right now which is activating my anxiety.

Today’s Situation

Today, I had a call scheduled for a project at 11am.

My baby’s nap time was 10am and the first nap lasts about 1.5 hours +/-.

I thought this is a good opportunity to have him sleep in his crib so I can take this call without waking the baby.

But for why?!

How the Day Went

10am: The baby fell asleep and I transferred him to the crib.

As expected, he woke immediately and began to cry.

So I got in the crib with him as part of my master plan to nurse him right back to sleep before I slip away after he falls asleep, as I’ve done before.

Spoiler alert: babies don’t always cooperate with master plans.

He was now ready to seize the day and play all the games!

I was so annoyed with myself.

What was I thinking?

When I have something scheduled for work, that’s not the moment to try to start something new.

10:30am: After several failed attempts to negotiate with the baby to go to sleep, climbing in and out of the crib and calling myself all sorts of unflattering names in my mind, I went back to my bed with the baby.

10:50am: As a blessing from the sky, I received an email 10 minutes before my scheduled call asking to reschedule.

Thank God!

Because at that moment I was still alligator-wrestling the baby as he attempted to crawl around while I nursed him.

11:15am: Finally, the baby fell asleep.

By now, I had lucked out on the reschedule, spent over an hour trying to persuade my baby to go to sleep, got 0 laundry loads done and I was feeling guilty for feeling frustrated.

While my baby slept (and slept, and slept…for 2 hours and 40 minutes!), I attended a virtual job fair, browsed threads on different Facebook groups and got a tiny bit of work done.

2pm: Baby woke up and it was beyond lunch time.

Thankfully, my husband had brought me lunch around noon during his lunch break.

I fed myself and the baby.

He hasn’t been very cooperative eating lately so we sat there for quite a while trying different things.

Fortunately, he’s in a fantastic mood which makes me happy.

3:30pm: We were now done with lunch.

At this point I’ve abandoned about 3 different text conversations.

While he sat playing with toys in the highchair, I took out the trash that was full and put the laundry in the dryer.

Then I moved him to his playpen and I began folding the baby’s clothes that had been sitting for a week.

I also put some of his clothes he recently outgrew into a retired-baby-clothes box.

At this point I’m feeling like I’m super productive.

Have you ever met anyone this productive?

Doubt it.

4pm: The baby was over the playpen.

First he asked me nicely to take him out but then fell over and got upset.

I nursed him.

We played ball together.

4:50pm: It was time for his second and final nap of the day.

I nursed him and tried to persuade him to nap.

5:30pm: he fell asleep.

I came back to this post, checked email…

6:00pm: I started to work.

6:40pm: baby woke up.

My husband had been home for a while but stayed out of the room to not mix things up.

I asked my husband to feed the baby dinner while I finish working and submit my timesheet which is due at 7pm.

I didn’t vocalize the timesheet deadline to my husband. I probably should’ve because…

6:41pm: My husband asks me if I can hold the baby while he prepares his dinner.

I told him he has options of places he can put him (like I do when I’m preparing his food when we’re alone).

He “knows” but the baby “will get mad.”

I will not ever reject my baby so it would be ideal if I didn’t find myself in this position.

6:45pm: this is taking longer than I thought.

At this point I tell my husband I need to submit my timesheet by 7pm.

“Ok go for it,” he says while he’s preoccupied looking around for something in the kitchen.

“Well…I can’t. I’m watching the baby so…”

Then I just go to my computer with my baby in my arms.

Screw my keep-the-baby-away-from-the-allure-of-screens thing.

Husband immediately comes to get the baby.

6:50pm: I submit my timesheet and close my computer.

Heated up some dinner and ate while my husband fed the baby.

Hang out with the baby as he plays.

8:00pm: Bathtime (followed by bedtime) is usually at 7:30pm but since he woke up from his nap at 6:40pm, we pushed bathtime back to now.

That’s a wrap!

Debrief

Days like this, it’s really hard to satisfy any expectations I or others have of me.

I feel like I’m going to lose my clients.

I feel angry at my husband.

I feel frustrated.

I feel guilty.

Solution

1. First order of business: Talk to the husband

I told him this morning that I need him to not ask me to hold the baby when I ask him to give me a few minutes to do something I need to do.

Because if he does, I’m being put in a position to either feel like I’m rejecting my baby or putting what I need to do on hold and I will ALWAYS choose to put my other obligations on hold.

He isn’t aware of all the background stuff that was happening so I’m not angry at him… anymore.

But if I don’t tell him now, he will not know again next time.

2. Organize and Prioritze

I have begun using a combination of the Trello boards I created recently and/or my Panda Planner to prioritize my tasks.

Once I have my tasks clearly prioritized, I will be sure to check on them in the morning.

My hope is that seeing everything I need to get done laid out in front of me, will help keep me on track.

What To Avoid

Even though it’s productive, perusing Facebook or Instagram to find opportunities or ideas for my blog is not at the top of the priority list.

If I don’t keep my priorities clear and visible, I will continue finding myself wasting valuable time.

I feel better already!