How I Safely Bedshared With a Newborn and Toddler
Last Updated on April 2, 2026 by Natalie
While I was pregnant with my second child, I worried about a lot of things. And most of those worries were about my firstborn.
How can I continue being his person? His everything? How can I continue to show him he’s still just as important and loved as he ever was, even though I now have to care for someone else too?
My list can go on and on. But let’s stop at: “how the hell was I going to continue bedsharing with him while adding a newborn to the mix and while keeping everyone safe?”
My Options (As I Saw a Them)
I want to preface this by saying: I in no way think this is what everyone should do. This is simply what my ever-guilt-riddled heart felt was right for my family.
1. Move him into his own bed before baby’s arrival.
For me, this was not an option. I didn’t want him to feel like I was kicking him out and it was out with the old, in with the new.
My then 4 year old had been sleeping right by my side since day 1 and never spent a night in his crib. I didn’t want him watching his little sister do what he used to do and blaming her for being moved into a room and bed by himself.
2. Keep our current setup and have the baby sleep in a crib or bassinet
This is what I expected to do with my first.
I had a beautiful gold Larkin crib from Crate & Barrel in my room and a bassinet by my bed. The only things that ever spent the night in that beautiful crib was some folded clothes and some toys that needed a place to sit. The bassinet got a little more use but as soon as my baby made a little noise I used that as my excuse to cuddle until morning.
(If you bedshare, please be aware of the Safe Sleep 7.)
My point is: before becoming a mom, I expected I’d be using these sleeping spaces. After 4 years of motherhood and learning my style, I knew better than to expect that with my second and last baby.
I kept the disassembled crib around just in case I had one of those unicorn babies that seemed to naturally prefer her own space but I wasn’t betting on it.
As the weeks and months passed, I wondered what the hell was I going to do??
What I Knew I Couldn’t Do
When my son (firstborn) joined our bed, I used a Snugglenest cosleeper for the first 3 months. Those have since been deemed unsafe for sleep.
At the time, I placed it between me and my husband in our king-size bed, with plenty of space between my husband and the cosleeper. I didn’t want the baby by the edge of the bed.
It worked beautifully for us those first 3 months until my son only wanted to stay next to me and I was happy to oblige.
I followed the Safe Sleep 7 and I was extremely aware of everything around him. If a sheet shifted even slightly, I would wake up.
But I couldn’t recreate this setup with my daughter.
The cosleeper was no longer considered safe. I couldn’t place her next to my 4-year-old. I didn’t want her on the edge of the bed.
None of these options were safe for her.
So how do I sleep with the baby, not kick out my 4 year old and make sure everyone is safe?
What I Did
I got a bedside bassinet.
These bassinets have one side that can be brought down, you can adjust the height and then you attach it to the side of your bed. The baby is right by your side and has 3 secure walls around them.
You can also raise that fourth wall and make it a standard bassinet if you’d like.
After reading reviews and looking for a bedside bassinet that had a height that matched my bed, I got the Mika Micky. You can’t find it on Amazon anymore (but if you’re in Miami, I can sell you mine for a good price). I found this alternative that looks a lot like my Mika Micky.
How It Worked Out
At the point that I had discovered this solution, the only thing left to worry about was how my 4 year old’s sleep quality might be affected by sharing a room with a newborn that cries at night.
Fortunately, I was blessed twice with two great sleepers.
Even when my second baby would sometimes wake up at 4 in the morning to happily gurgle, I learned that my son is a deep sleeper and I wasted efforts tip toeing around him for 4 years.
It worked beautifully and I’m sharing my story for other moms who, like me, want to savor the cuddles with all their babies while keeping everyone safe.
