#NewMomThoughts By October 12, 2015 No Comments

As a new mother, I’ve gone through ebbs and flows of “normalcy” (whatever that is). At some point, I melted away and became a mother only (not wife, not stepmom, not daughter, friend, nor Janine). And at other times, I’ve fought hard to be Just Janine. I wanted a glimpse of myself. I was fighting to find the pre-baby Janine that I had known for 31 years. I thought that if I found her and embodied her, I may feel this “normal” thing again.

But the real dirty-dirty is that, she is anew. There is no spoon. There is no pre-baby Janine that will reappear when the dust settles. That pre-baby Janine was the predecessor to Mother Janine. She was great, she lived a full life made amazing friends etc. Mother Janine is not so far off from her, actually. There’s just a learning curve happening- a shift.

bfeeding at wedding

For Aya Shakti (1)

#NewMomThoughts By October 4, 2015 No Comments

Tomorrow marks the 4 “monthiversary” of when we met! Has the time flown by? Nope. It still feels like a proper four months have passed- in the best way.

I’m compelled to write to you today so here it goes.

Aya Shakti,

May you always have an inner listening. There’s a voice inside of you that will guide you every step of the way. It will never steer you wrong. There will be some opposing and fear-based voice that develops over time – that is not you. You will learn how to differentiate the two. In the face of the fear-based voice, may you always follow what your higher self guides you to do.  


I Wonder

#NewMomThoughts By September 30, 2015 No Comments

I wonder what she’s thinking:

  • When she stares into my eyes while she’s feeding;
  • When she sees an unfamiliar face yet stares at them – seemingly right to their soul;
  • In the 10-15 minutes she lies awake in her crib before crying out for someone to come get her;
  • When she hears my voice and smiles;
  • When we go for walks and I describe the scenery to her;
  • When I sing to her and she locks eyes with me the entire time;
  • In her dreaming hours;


#NewMomThoughts By September 29, 2015 No Comments

Sometimes I’m so sleepy, I can feel how good the sleep is going to be even before I’m actually sleeping.

That’s tonight. Oooohhhhh it’s going to be delicious, this sleep.

I didn’t get a nap all day, but I was able to make a smoothie. A small, unrelated win that I’m claiming.



#NewMomThoughts By September 28, 2015 No Comments

It’s been happening for several days now, maybe even weeks. Today sealed the deal.

Today my daughter looked at me in sheer admiration. It’s present in her smile and how she lights up every time she sees me but also undeniably beaming from her eyes when I’m with her.



#NewMomThoughts By September 27, 2015 No Comments

I sometimes marvel at this:

There is a full blown human being that came out of my body who relies solely on a food that comes from my body to survive.

Baffling …yet it’s been going on for eons.