I’m on a roll these days! Finding myself. Getting back into the body I used to know. I lost her when I had my baby but I’m getting reacquainted with the new her – meanwhile shaping the new her- and I like it.
This evening I lit two candles, poured myself a glass of white wine, put on a honey, brown sugar and lemon mask, and got into a steamy herb bath! When my daughter was born, one of my friends gifted me herb sacks for postpartum recovery. They’re like huge tea bags but linen sacks filled with healing yumminess! It was one my the best gifts I had received as a new mother.
I grabbed a book, read a passage about the mysticism of snakes, then sank into my bath (which was a wee bit too hot, but that was perfect). A few sips of wine later, I found myself chanting a chant that my friend taught me the day before: “ohm namah shivaya.” It means “I bow to Shiva.” Shiva is the supreme reality, the inner Self. It is the name given to consciousness that dwells in all. Shiva is the name of your true identity- your self.
It was divine. I felt it.
Then after I showered off, chanting the entire time, I came out into the living room, laid out my yoga mat and did some deep stretches. I’m finding that when my daughter first goes to sleep, she’s guaranteed to be there for the next 4-6 hours. I can get SO much done in that time- or sleep. Some days I need the sleep, others I could do a myriad of other things. I’m finding my pockets of time and I love it.
Time is the biggest commodity that I seemingly lost when I started to care for another human being. There were MANY times I didn’t know what day of the week it was, or even the day of the month. I swear July and August were complete blurs! I’m happy to regain my sense of time and to use my time for my self.